Lately I have really been questioning my decision to go into the classroom. More days than not I feel very ineffective and even more unwanted. I know this is typical when dealing with teenagers, but I seem to notice it more than the teachers around me.
There are several questions I ask myself daily. The first of which is "How can I make students take ownership for their own learning?" More often than not, the answer I arrive at is, I can't. I teach and I reteach. I let the students try to teach one another. I ask the same questions over and over again, and I always come up dry. I play games in class before a test to hopefully solidify the learning. Do you know what happens? I may end up with a handful of As and Bs and the majority of the rest get Cs or fail. Those students who get As and Bs would have most likely done so without the game, because they are either very gifted or have taken ownership (at least partially) of their learning. I am not one to coddle, and feel that that is what is required of me. Yes, I will hold your hand and do everything I can to make you feel better if you're having emotional problems, but if you're not learning the information being taught to you in seven different ways, I cannot and will not hold your hand.
I wonder if I'm struggling so much with this very topic because I was what most teachers would probably consider the "ideal" student. If I didn't understand a concept in class, you bet I was the student asking questions until I did or I'd go home and pour over the information until an epiphany came. I studied for every test. I was shocked and disappointed in myself if I received a grade lower than a 95 (really if it wasn't the highest in the class). Which brings me to my next question:
When are students going to learn that failing once means that they need to study more next time? I have students that fail and fail and fail again, and I don't understand. For me knowing that I did poorly only gave me a boost to study more next time. I don't know if it's that these students are simply defeated after years of poor performance in school, if they haven't made the connection between studying and a good score, or if they simply don't care. Does anybody know how to reach these students?
The next question I must ask myself is whether I am cut out to be a classroom teacher or not. To say I have a strong, fairly dominant personality would be the understatement of the century. Is my personality too much to handle 130 pubescent teenagers' personalities each an every day? Would it be better suited working in an administration role? In a junior college setting? In the library? Or are all of these questions a product of being overworked this first semester? I know that as a first year teacher I should be putting in more work than the other teachers as they have already put in that work, but I spend most days from 7:00am-5or6:00pm at school only to be followed by potentially more hours at home working on school "stuff." I do not think this is normal for a first year teacher.
Now that I am done ranting, any insights, suggestions, or general advice would be much appreciated.
Wondering if this is the "First Year Teacher Blues"
/
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Aaron is actually doing research on ownership currently. I won't go into details here, but you should visit with him about some ideas that have seemed to work for students. Keep your chin up, you are fabulous!
Your rantings abnormal and they are not unlike the ones I quite often have. I hate aspect that we have that unspoken expectation of "holding their hands" as you said till they get it. What we are really doing is enabling them to be lazy and not think for theirselves. It's evident in my classroom when a student fails and they immediately ask for "extra credit". That really takes the cake. I just say - "No - why reward you with an extra assignment when you should have worked with excellence to begin with!? Extra credit equates to extra work on my part." I look at my own teenagers (and one college boy) who work their tails off for their good grades and I am very proud of them. Yet - my oldest daughter feels frustrated when kids her age also have "high grades" due to cheating on every test they take and no one can or will do anything about it.
Overworked - yes - we all are and sorely not compensated enough for this effort. You are not alone dear girl - it's part of the job. I always stay late - your mom knows - I just don't have the excuse of talking with her afterwards anymore because it's actually work I'm doing. :)
But believe me that every once in a while - you have a student who actually makes it all worth it. Those who rise to the occasion and outshine the others because you believe in them. The one who literally thanks you for not judging them unfairly when other teachers do. The one who calls you "mom" accidentally - but secretely wishes they had a mom like you who gives a darn about them. Yep - those are the ones that make that sacrifice worth it and it's not those standardized tests.
Callie,
I believe that it takes a very special person (and strong personality) to do your job. My favorite teachers were ones very similar to you. I know that I am very much the same type of student as you are; you will reach type "A" kids fairly easily. But you have that something extra. You have the stubbornness and perseverance to reach the others. To me, this is all very similar to Christianity. Sometimes, all you are called to do is plant a seed. You may only be able to plant a seed in these kids: a desire to do better, to succeed, to learn. You may not see it flourish, but you may start the growth. Please do not get discouraged.
You will be in my prayers!
Kelley
Post a Comment